Don’t Get Distracted by Whiners and Complainers

By Allan Njorah,

We all know somebody who is habitually acrimonious at life most of the time. These folks are typically grumpy on how the world is unfair to them and how every man jack is auspicious and well but doesn’t deserve to be.  I have partaken the better part of my 20-something years compassionate, responsive, offering a listening ear and occasionally psychological and financial provision to this kind of persons until lately when reality hit me precise in the face Tyson style.

Photo by Toa Heftiba

It transpired to me that recently I have been conferencing with a couple of strangers who despite not knowing me, they get to open up about themselves something I find very strange.  Perhaps it’s their new year resolve, I can’t tell. Back to the matter at hand, one of these new made friends shared a story about a friend of a friend who despite his access to a good level of education, credentials, a well to do neighborhood and well-off parents doesn’t cease to complain. Our friend of a friend asserts that, the parents ought to be the ones to rent him a dwelling in the metropolitan, hunt for employment and essentially provide for him until he gets financially stable (in his style of interpretation). Now my comrade desired some advice on how to deal with this.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

After some reflecting, I impartially told my friend not to bother. Now this possibly make me look like a don’t care (which I can be) or the worst of friend (which is reverse). The inkling is, anyone especially a man who maintains his parents should rent and provide for him post his college/campus life is delusional. They should get out and hustle like the rest of men and women to put food on their table. Life has potential of getting tough and frantic and breaking you. But the same life also gets better, makes you better and you evolve.

There is another breed of our youth in their formative age who believes there are no adequate resources for everyone, something I call scarcity mentality. These are the youth who will sit at a corner trading narratives, betting and playing games all day, running to the next-door political rally and abusing hard drugs. If you happen to ask the incentive behind their actions, they will guilt the government, their local MCA/MP and the axiomatic “economy is in ruins”. What they don’t seam to comprehend is resources are always there for the determined and folks enthusiastic to sacrifice instant gratifications for their objectives. After all anything you need is yours for the taking and nothing meaningful springs easily.

Photo by Hannah Sutherland

Then there are friends who are with you in good times, you giggle, joke, drink and make merry together as long as you are like them. You share with each other ambitions and business concepts of the future and at that moment, they are entirely with you. Now the devil rears it ugly horns the instant you initiate them. Once you jump on that side hustle you have been conversing about, once you bring into being attending classes and once you start monetizing that passion. Your dear friends don’t purchase your goods and choose to buy from your neighbor despite yours being significantly discounted. They cultivate a penchant of gossip asking who you think you are. Do you think you are brighter than them now that you have started attending those classes? Do you think your passion will make you super human like Thor?. The vilest transpires if you thrive as they will be the first to acquaint you with dark forces while they chose to endure in their comfort zone binge watching series after another.

This column is bitter sweet for as far as we all need friends who will be there for us in our adventurers’ moments, we also need friends who will support us at our developing times. If you got them you are blessed. In you got whiners and deserters in times of necessity, as I told my friend, I would say the same to you. When they start whining don’t bother, stay focused, it might be a door to more like-minded companions.


Allan Njoorah

Allan Njoorah

A blogger, a writer and a poet full of old-man wisdom. Follow me on

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