Love,Fight and Forgive to Make a Family.

By Lucia Kyalo,

Silence ensues after you heed to advises. Everybody on his own starts to make silent, miscalculated moves which later break the once strong chains of communication. After a series of complaints, the hurt party decides to reconcile with self the move out to the world. The mission is clear; in search of magic water to put off the burning bush. Anywhere, everywhere, she will take any solution that is suggested.

The gap between their thumping-hearts however widens day by day. The devil and associates have taken advantage of the situation. They are jumping and celebrating when division rocks. They have fed confusion among you with vitamins and proteins. They want you apart. It is their score when you don’t want to see each other’s eye. You cannot fathom sharing a seat, leave alone a bed. The thought of an angel-turned- devil or a liar crosses your mind when you think of sitting down to reconcile.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Ever heard of forgiveness or reconciliation without the conflicting parties coming together and putting their ideas, feeling, concerns, simply their whole minds on table? Without anyone accepting the blame? Maybe yes, but how was the life thereafter? Sounds like automated reconciliation, common when the duo are either desperate or their high ego won’t give them a chance to say, “Sorry”

For a family to grow into a home, only two people agree to settle together, only two. Anyone else comes later. The new comers are like a glue, which joins the couple, they form pillars to support them. The likes of relative shelter the lover birds against winds that can blow their love away. They keep close to see the relationship flourish and beat challenges. The glue sometimes forces the bond to be stronger even when the joint bonds are becoming weak. New born come and form part of the family. Woe unto them for they never made the choice. They wake up in a den full of wrangles and in-fights. They have nowhere else to run to for they’re like branches holding onto the stem. They suffer, they cry but they have to accept, hoping for a better tomorrow.

The people around warned you against him, and now you regret. You wish you listened. Whatever they said is coming true. You remember the Aunt who told you the man was unbearable devil but you chose to doubt her words.

You cannot save yourself either. You snubbed your mother when she wanted the best out your future. She wanted you to grow a responsible girl and later a good wife. But your father could not hear any of your mistakes. Every punishment was a torture and every mistake was part of growth. He forgave you and shielded you from the wrath of your mother. So you carelessly chose the wrong path. The positives are thrown in the dirty dustbins and the present negatives were the only thing visible.

Photo by Timothy Eberly

Everybody is hurt, you all have a portion of blame. So you turn your faces away while your fingers point at your partner’s nose. Instead of taking responsibility and swallowing the piling pride, you decide to call it off. You don’t mind of the poor souls looking up on you. Too sad that they suffer when it is not their mistake. They cry but they have to stay, hoping for better tomorrow.

Poor permanent newcomers, woe unto them. They have to listen to what each says, respect both, but impossible to obey and please all. Confusion grows and yet out of the mist, they are expected to make the best parents ever. They will be keen, not to repeat what their parents did. If they make it, the better but if they do not, we should blame the parents. To live as a family, we should counter fights with love and forgiveness. Our children want to learn from us. Let us make it easy for them.

 

 

Lucia Kyalo is a blogger and motivational speaker. 

Jubilant Stewards

Jubilant Stewards

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