The role of a woman in a home
The influence and role of a woman in a home is so powerful that it can affect her children even in their adult lives. A woman is responsible for the well being of a home. Solomon describes two types of women; one that builds her home and a foolish one that tears down. The influence that a woman has over a home can either build or destroy it. Whatever pattern the mother establishes in her home will affect her children in the future. How you were raised up will determine the type of family you will have.
Everything about a mother influences her home. The over-persistent attachment of a boy to his over possessive mother or domineering mother can have a bad influence to the son. This can infuse some feminine attributes to a son. Mothers, God has given you powerful influence to build your home, never allow the devil to destroy your home by introducing worldly patterns in it. Allow God who gives wisdom to manage your family by giving you specific plan for it.
The role of a man in a home
A man is the head of the family and has the responsibility to build a strong self-image of the wife. He must be dedicated and committed to his family alone, discerning her needs at all times. It is very easy for a husband to humiliate his wife by always referring to her weakness and faults always. This destroys her self-image and causes her to desire another man. It is important for the husband to meet the needs of the wife and not to use his position or physical strength to dominate or suppress her. Men should avoid things that can embarrass their wives.
A king in the Bible, in the book of Esther called King Ahasuerus (Xerxes) used his position to embarrass his wife and this led to the termination of their relationship. He made a most extravagant feast to show the riches of his glorious kingdom and honor of his majesty. This party ended in heaviness and shame when he exposed his weakness and of his wife. He had two feasts; one for his nobles and princes that lasted a hundred and eighty (180) days and another for all the people great and small that lasted for seven days in the court of the garden
Queen Vashti also gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace of king Xerxes. The tents used for the party were very expensive and this party ended in heaviness; the falling out between the king and the queen broke off the feast abruptly and the guests went away ashamed and silently. King Xerxes dishonoured himself as the husband who is supposed to be a cover of the wife. Why send for your wife into your presence when you are drunk and in the company of your friends who are in the same condition. He knew that it was against the custom of the Persians for women to appear in public. So the wife stood by the customs of the land and this made the husband angry. In anger the king asked for advice from the wise men that proposed that Vashti should be divorced for disobedience. This seemed good in the eyes of the king. This man destroyed his family because of ignorance and failure to protect his wife from outside attacks.
Xerxes was a man who lacked self-control. Historical sources portray him as a dangerous impulse king who did awkward things. It records instances that he did awkward things i.e. when a bridge he had ordered to be built was destroyed in a storm, he commanded that the sea receive 300 lashes and then had the builders beheaded. Also when one of his royal subjects gave huge amount of money towards military account Xerxes was so happy that he returned the money along with a lot of his own gifts. But when the same man asked to let one of his sons go free from the draft Xerxes was angry and ordered the son cut into two and the army to march between the pieces. How many men are like Xerxes who destroyed their families because of their wild behaviours and lack of self-control? Men need to be committed to their families, love their wives and protect them.