This love makes me vulnerable

By Winnie Onyango

Human beings and love is just like guinea and its feathers; inseparable. Adam incidentally found himself in love with Eve in the Garden of Eden. Today as I sojourn this garden of my own, I feel desperate and loveless.

Days have passed since we Celebrated Valentines. I meet this gentleman as we enter the cyber, just to brows a little. Later he invited me over for a chat in his house, where he cooked me dinner, I felt a gush of blood soak my pants and his chair. To my horror, his sister decided to join us on this special day. Rushing to the washroom, I sense spots of stains, it was my period. I had to give excuses for me to leave, hoping we meet later, in the course of the week.

By coincidence we bumped into each other as we enter the cyber, this time i wanted to scan some documents for an online application, Getting inside, he logs in to his Facebook account and notices he has ten messages in his inbox.

Hi baby, when will you be in KU? Miss your warm kisses’. This message is from Nelly, his love from Kenyatta University, they had met in town about four months ago. He reads the second message

HI, will be coming this Saturday. I have a surprise 4 u.nc tym, mwaah! ’This is a message from Zaituni, a student of Nairobi Aviation; they had met almost a year ago in 4one one club in Eldoret. Their relationship struck same night. Then, five  consecutive messages comes from other ladies whom he fell in love with just for seconds and had fallen out in fact most of their names had been erased from his list for it was a one night stand.

A last message He reads smilingly; It’s a message from his perceived love Neema ’why switch your phone? pliiz I’m all alone” Alex picks up his phone and sends a text of assurance that he will pay a visit. All this happens as I try pretending that all is well, after all we just met the other day. While still viewing comments, he receives a call, which he rushes out quickly maybe to contain its network, leaving me clueless on my seat. Imagining all those tales from my grandmother about how to see a potential match before entering into a relationship, after all, I did not even know what I wanted in a mate.

As my online application progress, we’re interrupted by high heels sounds. It’s a coincidence we raise heads at once, focusing on this lady, NO. Not a lady, a princess. Horse hair, giraffe neck, diamond face, waist of an ant and I can’t explain how her white miniskirt tightened her exposing thin lines of a pinkish panty, her golden broad thighs brightening. Daughter of God created with pencil and rubber, perfume aroma fills the air as she passes besides us intentionally swinging her hips getting seated at the next table capturing our attention only to realize the switch is dysfunctional, hence joins Alex, warm boots her computer and logs in. Alex greets her blushing and conversation strikes, exchange of contacts and face book username. They leave the cyber to relax at the hotel. This feeling that makes me worthless, frustrated and negligible. When will my turn come?

A week passes and Alex narrates how their relationship has progressed. It’s rumored the lady is Merimela, a lady who has been a commercial sex worker for years. Her tone is low and tender filled with liquid vowels and soft slurring infections, her smooth, chocolate brown skin and bright countenance .Alex has been struck by the responsive warmth in her smile and the spontaneity in her broad face. He has never seen such a sweet, appealing, the surge of poignant feelings her closeness arouses.

Alex has forgotten about me, leaving me with thoughts and regrets why I had met him. Only to find comfort in wise quote ‘it’s better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feeling lonely’

The writer, Winnie Onyango, is a psychologist and a counselor 

Elizabeth Agutu

Elizabeth Agutu

Elizabeth Agutu is Deputy Editor for Jubilant Oasis Stewards of Africa. Jubilant Oasis Stewards of Africa is the best online outlet for reliable African news and in depth analysis of developments in business, finance, markets, politics, culture, science and technology. Apart from being news breaker Jubilant Oasis Stewards of Africa is a training, research, PR and consultancy firm whose main focus is to help companies, governments and non-profits achieve competitive advantage through smart strategic alignment. Our three arms work in a collaborative effort to seek insight into the emerging trends of success and impart that acquired knowledge to our clients.

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